How long should you date before getting engaged

I have been dating my boyfriend Zach for one year and eight months, and I am ready to get married. At least, I think I am. Two years seems like a natural progression. After twenty-four months together, you usually know whether your partner is someone you could really commit to—forever. Should we actually be engaged by now? Does it really matter at all how long you date before you get married?

The purpose of dating is to get to know someone as fully as possible before tying the knot—ultimately with the goal of having a successful marriage that lasts. But what exactly is transpiring in this time that either confirms or disproves compatibility? Love is a hot topic. I did some digging and reached out to relationship therapists and psychologists to get their thoughts. What Does Research Say? Results showed that couples that had dated an average of twenty-five months before marriage were most happily married at the conclusion of the study.

The study also looked at couples who were quicker to get married. These couples dated an average of eighteen months and were engaged for half that time. Of those who were quicker to marry, the study found that the marriages survived to the seven-year mark, but many divorced after that. Couples that dated for two years were 20 percent less likely to split.

If we can draw any conclusions from these studies, it would be that the couples who tended to hold off longer to marry ended up being the most satisfied in their marriages in the long-term and less likely to divorce.

What the Experts Recommend Even with these studies telling us that staying the course in dating does seem to pay off in marriage, there are always exceptions to the rule. We all know or have heard of that unicorn couple who fell in love instantly and have sustained a happy marriage ever since.

A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships , agrees that dating one to two years is safest. It might work out okay if they are exceptionally well-matched and mature. While Betchen suggests at least a year, he also explains that self knowledge and learning from past dating mistakes can speed up the dating process. According to Madeleine A. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others. If a couple has been married for fifty years, but they have been miserable and treating each other badly during those years, is it really a good marriage?

Do you really love this person? Have you talked about what you both want from marriage? What you envision married life to be like? Do you want children? How do you want to raise your children? How do you handle conflict?

There may be no magic number to guarantee a marriage will last, but I feel more confident giving our relationship the time we need to be intentional and discerning.


Here's How Long 9 Couples Dated Before They Got Engaged. I believe that you shouldn't get engaged until you are truly serious about getting married. To me, you date to get to know each other. Because you generally need time to get to this stage of understanding, Wendi L. Dumbroff, a licensed professional counselor, believes that time does plays a role in determining how long you should date before getting engaged.

Total 3 comments.
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